Eli's Ride
by Kojin
Summary: We've all read what Auden had to say during her stay in Colby, but let's hear what Eli had to say...
1. The Look

The look could kill. I've come to expect it now, almost as if it were a permanent fixture in this small town. I see it everywhere I go, no matter what the situation calls for it. Really, the only place I don't see it is when I'm at Clyde's. He's the only one who really looks at me lately. Even when I'm with my mother I feel it, but only when I'm looking away. But at least I know her look is because she worries about me. But everywhere else, at the Bike Shop, on the boardwalk, in the mirror, at the Last Chance, I saw the look.

Eventually, even the touristy girls know, if only because of the gossip rate in this town. I glanced at the moon in the sky and sighed, it was probably only past midnight. It was still too early to go to Clyde's, by this time there were generally a few crazies poking around, who were better avoided.

I walked along the boardwalk, my hands shoved deep in my pockets. I began walking along the boardwalk, and then along the beach. I saw the blaze of a bonfire and realized that I was closer to the Tip than I had first thought. I decided to go check up on Jake then, make sure he wasn't passed out somewhere, alone, among the dunes. I was about on the path when I spotted the back of a skinny, dark haired girl.

I walked closer, quietly, hoping to walk past her without much incident.

"On your right!" A voice yelled, I glanced up and saw the approaching figure of a person on a bike. I recognized the voice but I couldn't confirm who it was zooming past. The girl, who was on the bike path, jumped out of the way just before being run down, which I was glad for. I've seen, firsthand, what it looked like to be in the path of an oncoming bicyclist.

The girl was on the path again when I heard two more bikes approaching. She saw them as well and jumped back, running straight into me. Instantly I felt myself restrict into myself. I could barely glance at her as she apologized, a knee jerk reaction I supposed. I nodded quickly before sliding my hands back into my pockets and walking down to the beach.

I passed Jake talking to Leah and Esther standing by the keg. They stared at me, their eyes bugging out slightly at the sight of me. I didn't look at them either as I continued down the beach. I saw with my peripherals the girls whip their heads past me at the sight of something far worse than a monster's unwanted appearance.

I continued to the surf and sat down just out of reach. I watched the moon reflect against the waves and listened to the sound of the waves with my eyes closed and head back, not really thinking at all.

After some time though, I was tired of feeling the cold, moist sand on my feet, without the fortitude that Clyde's coffee brought me. I got up and brushed the sand from my jeans and walked along the dunes. I wasn't expecting to run into anybody so when I heard my brother's voice, I was surprised. I walked further and saw my brother in the moonlight, pulling his belt on while his shirt was rumpled and I could see the sand in his hair.

Then, I saw the girl with dark hair from earlier walking away, stumbling and hunched. When she was out of sight, Jake shook his head and followed her path back to the fire. But I could tell that she wasn't going back to the fire, she was carrying a weight on her shoulder, a weight I could recognize from miles away. It was guilt.

I wanted to follow her, show her was real blame looked like, but I didn't. Instead, I looked back at the moon and decided that only Clyde and his pie could fix this night.

Later that night, or early the next morning, I was practicing on the boardwalk, like I did most nights (Mornings?). I was on the boardwalk, at the point where it opened up to the beach. I wasn't following any sort of set practice regime, I was just getting back the feel of the bike, the thrill. I was getting better at not seeing his face every time I touched the handlebars. But this time, for me, was when I was finally able to stop the images in my head, where I could stop reliving the looks of his family and friends every time I blinked.

Suddenly, a person was standing right in front of me. I skidded to a stop, watching the girl from the night before. She had seemed closer before, but in reality she was about ten feet away, a stroller with a baby in it at her side. I couldn't find the words that I should have spoken in a situation like this, I was mesmerized by the expression on her face. It wasn't the look, it was awe, amazement. The look I used to get while I was on the bike.

She was just as shocked as I was, I could tell, at being caught staring. She looked like she was about to bolt, not even caring about the baby at her side. But then, that very same creature started wailing.

Surprised, she glanced down at the stroller, her face shocked as she remembered that she had the baby with her. I, of course, recognized the stroller from the many times that Heidi pushed it through town on her way to do something, always running herself ragged. I recognized this look from the many new mothers that would make their way to our house as kids, my mother the guru that could solve many unsavory inquiries (with a shudder I thought of all of the things I walked into as I went to get a drink from the fridge).

Now I knew who this was, Heidi's step-daughter. I heard her talking about it, loudly, with the girls from the shop the other day. Her name was odd, like Autumn. I remember because I wondered what her parents named her other kids, Winter? Spring?

I was still watching her as she glanced up, flushed. "She's… it's been a long night."

I thought back to the night I had, all of the errands I had run. I don't know why, but I said, "Aren't they all."

She looked up at me, her glance quizzical. I didn't think I could stand to make much more small talk, so I turned my bike and began zigzagging all the way down the boardwalk.


	2. The Elevator

**Chapter 2 – The Elevator**

The next day I slept until noon. You'd think that when I finally crashed from a night as long as I have, and did have, that I'd sleep until at least three in the afternoon. But the little demon that resides in my head won't allow it. So, after only a few hours sleep, I made my way, as inconspicuously as I could, to the Bike Shop. Every time the door would chime, telling me that someone had come in, I assumed it would be her, having finally succumbed to the curiosity that was surrounding the accident.

But it was never her. Although I did see her once, walking towards Clementine's with a basket in her arms. I normally wouldn't have seen her because the shop is closer to the beach than Clementine's, but I was changing an advertisement bike for one that was not selling as well, hoping that the advertisement would boost the sales. I had just polished it, the seat and the green body. It was a smaller model than usually offered in the shop, with fatter tires too, but it was perfect.

For some reason, I had never noticed before.

The day passed, as did another night. Not bad, Clyde made another blueberry pie, one of the classics. I didn't see anyone as I was practicing, preparing myself for the shows that were coming up. I don't know what had prodded me in entering in the first place.

But, I did so I was going to work my ass off until I perfected the art. And then, I could step away from the sport properly, maybe I'll even make it without breaking my collarbone, a common enough injury among the more serious bikers.

I sighed as I walked towards the Last Chance Café, about to get the best onion rings I've ever tasted. I was going to take some to Clyde's, get an early start on the night. Usually he doesn't condone any type of fast food, at least since he started cooking, but even he cannot resist a good Onion ring.

I glanced into the bank as I walked past it and noticed Heidi with Leah, Maggie, and Esther. They were chattering about something, waving their hands and rumpling their faces. I remember listening to Jake, late at night, talking about Maggie. How smart she was, how beautiful, how _pink_. But Jake was never a one-woman type of guy. I could see it, Abe could see it, and even mom could see it. The only person who didn't was Maggie. The poor, poor girl. But Jake would never wise up and end it before he got caught.

I shook my head and continued walking. My brother's problems were not my own, I had bigger things to worry about.

I was about to turn into the Last Chance when I saw her, sitting on a bench. Her eyes were closed, her hand holding her head, as the baby, Thisbe, was crying next to her. I don't know what compelled me to walk to her. I should've turned and ordered my food and got the hell out. But I couldn't. Not when her face was so pained, I thought I was the only one in this town who knew what that really felt like.

But I supposed what she was experiencing was something banal, like a headache or boredom. Maybe she fought with her boyfriend, maybe she expected something more from Jake than what he was willing to give.

No matter what the reason was, I found myself standing beside the stroller, watching as her little red face screamed bloody hell at the world. I envied that, being able to scream whenever you became overwhelmed. I wanted to soothe her but didn't know how appropriate that was.

"She just started screaming," She told me. She seemed frantic, like she was at fault for a baby crying. But hearing my mother soothe enough concerned mothers I knew that babies needed to cry sometimes. Sure, it wasn't ideal, but you couldn't placate them until all they did was cry. But she seemed like she needed a moment of peace.

This wasn't the moment to allow the baby to cry for hours. Autumn continued talking, telling all about the baby's crying habits. Clearly, all she needed was quiet. And there was really only one solution.

"Well," I said, weighing my options although I knew I was going to share this trick with her, "there's always the elevator."

"The elevator?"

I glanced at her briefly, thinking that I could either tell her about it or show her. And really, why are words always such a necessity with woman? So, bending down I unhitched Thisbe from her stroller and lifted her up in my arms. I firmly held her between my hands, gentle yet firm, in case she wiggled. I've held plenty of babies in my days, handed off when my mother just-could-not-wait-a-moment-longer-to-pee. "This," I said, turning towards her, "is the elevator." And then I bent my legs and eased back up. Again and again. Once, it had taken about twenty minutes for an extremely rowdy baby to calm down, but it was virtually fool proof.

Sure enough, after about the fourth time down, she stopped crying. With my peripherals I could see Autumn's shocked expression.

Suddenly, Heidi's voice was behind me, screaming my name. Oh god, please no. If ever I had met a more energetic woman, I'd be surprised. "Eli!" She cried, coming up behind me, "I thought that was you."

I flushed, embarrassed that she had caught me here. I tried to stay away from her because, frankly, she frightened me. Before she had the baby, she was always very touchy. She wanted to discuss her feelings and their feelings the moment she spotted you. She was virtually my kryptonite. She was nonplused about everything.

"Hey," I greeted, stopping the elevator prematurely, so I wasn't surprised when Thisbe burst into tears. A few dips later and she would have been as docile as a lamb, and trust me, I know about these things.

"Oh, dear," Heidi said, reaching out to grab the baby from me. I imagined that it wouldn't do much, but you should never underestimate the motherly touch. "Where's your father?" She asked, directing her gaze towards Autumn.

"He got a table. We were about to sit down when she started to freak out." She was watching the baby, not making eye contact with Heidi, at least not longer than she could help.

"She's probably hungry. What a day! You would not believe –" At this point I tuned her out and watched the girl out the corner of my eye. She glanced at me but didn't notice that I was watching her. She flushed and watched the baby. She seemed to be as uncomfortable as I was when Heidi, and most girls really, began sharing so much. There's nothing wrong with sharing, but there should be a limit.

When she had stopped for a breath, I turned to her. "I better get back to the shop." She seemed surprised to hear me. In truth, I haven't been saying much lately. I thought, for a moment, of my onion rings. I suppose I wouldn't have an early start at Clyde's today. "Congratulations, by the way." I began to step backwards, but Heidi continued talking.

"Oh, Eli, you're so sweet, thank you," She enthused. "And I'm so glad you met Auden!" Auden? What kind of name was that? And why did it sound familiar? "She's new here, hardly knows a soul, and I was hoping she'd find someone to introduce her around," She continued. The girl, Auden, flushed. I still couldn't place the name but I knew I was going to place the name eventually, so I wasn't entirely worried. I backed up a bit more and nodded at them both and then turned, walking back towards the shop.

Inside the back of the shop, Adam was furiously writing on a sheet of paper, Adam's Workspace – Touch and Die! I rolled my eyes and glanced over and saw Wallace sulking in the corner, working quietly. I rolled my eyes as I sat down behind the desk, shifting through the piles of papers. I brushed a few empty soda bottles away and opened up a small package of chocolate cupcakes, snacking on them.

As the sun set, Wallace, Adam, and Jake left, leaving me alone. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning in my chair. I wondered if Clyde made chocolate pie again, the last time it was really good. I glanced at my watch, midnight, and started doing the paper work that needed to be done. I left around one and made my way to the Gas/Gro. I got some soda and a few snacks, just the usual, and left. I skipped Clyde's tonight, I didn't think I could face him tonight, at least not after my Heidi encounter.

So I went back to my place, thinking of the ways I could pass the time until noon, I glanced at my watch, only three more hours to burn. Sometimes, I'm surprised how much time I can spend on a bike without even really realizing that the time was passing. Abe understood that. No one else did.

* * *

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and your support as I write this. I'm sorry it's so short and it took so long to update. Someone had 'stolen' my copy of the book and I just retrieved it. I shall continue throughout the book and hope that you continue to read and review, because it makes me super happy. Much love to you all!!**


	3. Big Brother Eli

Chapter 3

Eight thirty three P.M. two nights after my brief encounter with Auden and Heidi. And no, Adam, I am not hiding from anything. He might secretly believe that I was acting more like a hermit than usual, but I was not. Why should I? I was perfectly fine. Really. And would you please stop whispering about me with Wallace whatever chance you got? It's not like I'm deaf.

Finally, Adam decided he needed a break. He yelled out to Wallace, who agreed that a stop at the Gas/Gro was entirely necessary. They left, leaving me alone at my desk and Jake alone in the front of the shop, servicing those who just Could Not Wait until tomorrow for their various needs to be met.

I sighed and opened another bottle of soda, taking a long drink from it. Jake seemed to have taken his quick tumble among the dunes with Auden rather badly. He's been in a funk ever since. This, of course, was the perfect moment for a bonding moment between brothers. But I couldn't. It would've been easier, I suppose, if I hadn't pushed him away after the accident. But I couldn't deal then.

I probably couldn't even handle it now. At least not with him. Because I knew that Jake looked up to Abe more than anyone else. So I stayed away, hoping that he wouldn't take it too hard. Jake, as far as girls were concerned, didn't really experience rejection. I got up and grabbed a stack of papers that needed to go to Clyde and searched through the desk for a manila envelope to put them in.

But I couldn't find them. So I got up and walked towards the front of the shop, just as I walked through the door, Wallace and Adam rushed in.

"It's dance time!" Wallace shouted. Jake's head shot up and glanced at his watch. Sure enough he discovered that it was nine o'clock. He jumped up and rushed through the door and across the street, where they stood every night at nine in order to watch the dance. I stayed where I was, leaning against the door as they eagerly watched the girls.

Adam's face lit up and I knew he had finally spotted Maggie. A shadow passed across Jake's face, maybe he was finally feeling guilty about how he had treated Maggie. I didn't really know. A minute passed and I finally decided to look for that envelope. I found one easily enough, and then I returned to my room, closing the door firmly.

I was right in my assumption that Adam and Wallace would stay with Jake in the shop room. It was nearly ten when I left for Clyde's. I told Jake to stay until I got back so I could lock up. He agreed, grudgingly.

I walked to the Laundromat and walked through the back and handed Clyde the envelope.

"Want a cup?" He asked, pointing to the coffee pot behind him. I nodded, I usually wasn't a big coffee drinker, but I accepted a cup. I sat down and Clyde watched me as I took a sip, burning my tongue.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice filled with concern. I knew he was worried for me, he was so genuine in everything he did. I think I could explain it to him. But I was still worried.

"I don't know." I told him honestly, trying to think of the best way to explain what I was feeling. Clyde waited patiently. He understood that some things took time, which is why he never asked why I was here so late at night. With a sigh, I delivered my soliloquy. "Well, I've just gotten used to it, the look. From everybody. And now there's this girl, she doesn't know. She looks at me and sees me, not Abe. I guess I'm not used to that, and it kind of freaks me out. What if she finds out? I don't know what I'll do when she gives me the look." And then I sighed and buried my face in my hands. I've never considered myself inarticulate before, just not chatty.

But that explained nothing at all. How could he understand the anxiety I felt from that?

Clyde, however, nodded sagely. "What if she does find out, and doesn't give you the look? It's not unheard of."

I rolled my eyes at Clyde. Please, she was female. Girls were full of feelings, and there was no way that once she heard, the only feeling that she will feel is pity. Clyde laughed, "Just don't be surprised," He called out to me as I left, "She might be different." But I knew better, they were all the same.

As I was walking back to the shop I saw Adam riding towards me, Maggie was seated on his handlebars and he looked so happy. As if the sky had just opened up and God was talking to him. Maggie seemed to be enjoying herself too, but I didn't know if that was because she was on a bike, which would make anyone happy, or if she finally became aware of the tension that existed between the two.

Wallace and John, a regular at the store as well as a regular at the bike park, were riding behind them. I passed Esther and Leah as well, but I didn't glance at them.

I was, at this time, walking behind a group of women in too short skirts and slinky, colorful tops, talking raucously loud about their plans for the night.

I didn't think of passing them because they were at a stage in their merriment where they would yell 'Nice ass' to anyone who happened to walk in front of them. Sometimes it astounded me. I rolled my eyes and glanced over, not really thinking.

That's when I spotter her bony frame, her black hair, her eyes. These eyes held guilt and shame, I wondered briefly if my eyes mirrored these feelings, but I really didn't want to know. Nor did I want to establish any sort of friendship with her, despite what Clyde seems to think. So I turned my head quickly and hoped that she wouldn't stop me, especially after Heidi made her sound so desperate for company. It didn't have to be me, that's for sure. So I continued walking until I got to the shop, where Jake was sullenly waiting.

Maybe I should say something. He looked like he wanted to talk about it.

"Jake," I said, causing him to look over at me.

"What?" He asked harshly, angry.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea. He didn't want to hear from me, not after I virtually gave him the silent treatment for I don't even know how long.

"Are you okay?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable even asking. I was probably just going to make him angry by asking. I shouldn't have asked. I could feel the urge to say never mind and walk away grow. But I stuck it out, I wasn't such a good big brother, ever. I owed it to him now, I needed to do this for him.

"I'm fine," He snapped, looking at me like I'd grown a second head.

"Jake, I saw you in the dunes. I can tell you're upset about what happened, talk to me." I took a step forward and told myself I was doing what was best. But I really wasn't sure. What if I reached out and we bonded, and he expected more? What if I couldn't handle it? But, what if I could? I had to try. I've neglected our brotherhood long enough.

He sighed and kicked the sidewalk, his arms crossed over his chest. "I don't know, that girl has problems."

"But it bothers you," I prodded. "Why?"

"I honestly have no idea," He laughed and looked over at me. His eyes were shining. "She's not even that good looking, nothing like Maggie. God, she's beautiful…"

I felt a twinge in my stomach. I ignored it, I was probably feeling protective of Maggie. Of course that was it, she was practically a sister to me, I had taught her how to ride, after all. "But Jake," I began, ready to lecture him on leaving Mag alone.

"I know, I'm staying away from her," He exploded, angry. "God," He hissed angrily. He turned and walked away, leaving me alone.

I knew I should've just left it alone. He wasn't ready for Older Brother Eli to make an appearance, and neither was I. That's probably why I ignored him so often, left him for Abe.

But Abe was there for Jake when I couldn't, or wouldn't. That's why Jake took it just as hard as I did, he just did better at hiding it. I couldn't do that though, I was too overwhelmed.

I looked into the glass of the shop and saw a hint of my reflection. Troubled. That's what I was. I could see it, even though my face was covered in shadows. I couldn't hide the monster from myself, what made me think I could hide it from Jake?

So I entered the shop and locked the front door, going to the back and working on a few orders that had come in, wanting to have their bike repaired. I got a few done and finished Adam's project. I knew that he would be angry and yell and scream, wondering who had done it and asking, loudly and full with gusto, if that person (and he would know it was me) had been able to read his sign, which he will point towards menacingly.

I would, of course, completely ignore this and he'd get over it, secretly pleased that he'd get it done early and thus probably get a nice tip.

And he wouldn't thank me and I wouldn't bring it up.

Because, and I must face it, I sucked with people things. I really did. And Adam knew that, and he respected me enough to not dog me about it. And that's what I like about him.

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**A/N: Once again, sorry for the short chapter. I can't seem to get them to be much more than 1,500 words (although this chapter is about 1,600 words, an improvement). But I do want to thank all who reviewed, and all who will review for this chapter, because it makes me unbearably happy. This makes me update sooner, as I'm sure you can tell. **


	4. Opportunities

**Chapter 4 – Opportunities**

Despite my original thoughts, nothing happened after my 'heart-to-heart' with Jake. He didn't seek me out for his problems and he didn't look at me funny either. Things continued on as normal in the bike shop. So I didn't worry about my slight indiscretion any longer, both Jake and I were able to get past it like it had never happened.

I felt my hands loosen as I thought about it.

Because I had been worrying. But, after a week, I finally felt free. The freeness of being on a bike again helped lessen my tension, while simultaneously making me even tenser. It was a paradox that I enjoyed in some sort of sick, masochistic way.

I opened my eyes now and watched the ground rise towards me. The bike, an extension of myself at this point, hit the dirt of the ground. I continued riding, in the dark, at the jump park. This late/early, the lights weren't on, but I didn't need them.

I've been riding here for so long that I didn't need the lights, at least while I was all on my own.

-----

It was not unusual for any of the employees of the Bike Shop to leave during the day for a quick run to the Gas/Gro, nor was it unusual for them to leave in pairs. It was actually more common for a pair to go to the store, if not more. But, I always went on my own.

So, I walked out of the back room and nodded at Adam, "I've got to take a break, be back soon." He looked up at me and nodded. Adam was probably the most reliable of all the others employed here, which is why I always felt comfortable leaving.

I walked out swiftly, lowering my head so I didn't have to see anyone. I got to the Gas/Gro and got a few liters of soda. I also grabbed a few snacks, Pringles and pretzels. I paid and headed out, stopping to admire the racks of bikes in the back of a truck on my way out.

I was admiring them for only a few minutes when I heard the door open behind me and someone walk up behind me.

"They're nice, aren't they?" The man asked, admiring them as well.

"Sure are," I replied, my head bobbing. I think there was pride in his voice, so I guessed that they were his. "They yours?" I asked, knowing that that was what he wanted. I may not have been the kind of person to give people what they wanted just because they wanted it. Usually, I only did, and said, what was necessary. That's why my mother often complained about my 'cave-man' speaking.

I saw him nodding out the corner of my eye.

"Yup, I'm on my way to a competition, we're stopping here to recharge." Just then a blonde girl walked out of the store with a large cola in her hands, along with a bag filled with Gas/Gro specialties.

"Maybe I'll see you there," I said, knowing where he was headed and knowing that I would be good enough to place in the top three.

I walked away, hearing him yell goodbye and threats of the competition. I sighed and looked down, burying my hands deep into my pockets. I glanced up and saw the stunned face of Adam. He knew. But I looked away and avoided his gaze as I walked back to the shop. I could feel his eyes boring holes in my back, but I didn't turn back. Either he gossips about it, or forgets about it. Whichever decision he makes I'll survive it.

So, I walked back to the shop. Just in time for The Dance.

Usually, I didn't watch. But there I was, in the perfect spot for viewing without feeling like I was leering. So I paused, unconcerned that there wouldn't be anyone watching the shop, and watched. First, I saw Esther, then Leah. I think I might've caught a glimpse of Maggie, but I wasn't sure, she was hidden by a display of some sort.

I smiled as I remembered the long conversations that were had in front of the Bike Shop, boys speculating what the reason behind the dance was. I never stayed long to hear the theories or share my own, but I liked to imagine it was the same reason why I still rode at two or three in the morning.

The freedom. The ritual. Just the feeling, really. I shook my head and headed into the shop, nodding at Jake as he yelled out a greeting.

He followed me into the back, I hoped this wouldn't be yet another bonding moment, there was only so much I could take. I scowled at the mess on my desk as an excuse to be angry. I wish I had decided to keep Big Brother Eli locked away the other night, no good had come from him escaping.

I sat and turned towards my brother. "Yes?" I asked. Sometimes, even I noticed how unfeeling I sounded.

Jake stared at me, wiping his palms on his jeans. Oh Jesus, he was _nervous_. We were definitely going to have some sort of sex talk, I just knew it.

Jake sat down on Adam's stool, moving around his tools as a habit. "Well, see, it's like this," He began. He cleared his throat and rubbed his palms against his jeans, again. So, so nervous. Why me? But my face was as calm as a piece of glass, no ripples of agitation. "I need some money."

I nearly smiled. _That's_ how happy I was. But I didn't want to scare him. I sighed, trying to make him think I wasn't happy as I fished out my wallet.

I pulled out two twenties and held them out. Jake jumped to his feet and plucked them out of my hand, probably hoping I wouldn't change my mind. He said a quick thanks and backed out of the room, no bullshit, no promises to pay me back 'some other time'. In a way, I was grateful that I wasn't the only monosyllabic person in the family. I shook my head and got back to work.

I heard the door open about a half-hour later, thinking it was Jake I didn't even glance up. I just thought, 'Forty wasn't enough?', and pushed some papers around.

I heard a throat being cleared and slowly looked up. Face blank, keep it blank.

Adam glanced over at his work space and scowled as he noticed the disorder. His hands itched to put it back in order but didn't, because he had to Say Something Serious.

"Eli, is this a good time?" He asked.

_No. _"Sure."

He sat and straightened his shirt. He cleared his throat and looked around, grabbing a Jolly Rancher from my desk and taking off the plastic. He popped the sticky candy in his mouth and crumpled the plastic in his hands, it helped his nerves. "I was wondering…"

I stared at his face. I could see the beads of sweat along his forehead. He cleared his throat again. "Um, what I meant to say was, that I was thinking…" He trailed off again, staring at the ceiling. I glanced up and noticed the stains on the ceiling. I made a note to mention it to Clyde later on. Should I make it easy on him?

He shook his head and stood, putting his hands behind his back, "Can Wallace and I borrow your truck?" He said it quickly, in an off the hand kind of way. A way that I knew meant he hadn't come in here to ask to borrow the truck, he had just chickened out in the real reason why he came in here.

I nodded and tossed him the keys, I didn't mind walking. I actually preferred it because sometimes, when I was driving, I would see a person's face eye me in disgust. As if I didn't have the right to drive after the accident, even though it hadn't been my driving that had caused the accident, at least not outright. I closed up shop around midnight. We had long ago locked up, but I always stayed past closing to 'organize' or 'get some things done'. When really, I just hung out.

Bland, but true. Even with Clyde's, I couldn't occupy my nights completely, and that's the only excuse I had. But, sure enough, here I was. Off to the left of the jump park, the night before a competition. Not many people came this way, instead favoring the bike racks on the right side where there was more action. But it was that lack of action that attracted me here. I saw the glint of the metal bike racks first, just out of reach of the large lights, but still able to reflect from the moon.

I tugged at the sleeve of my green shirt as it got stuck on a branch and moved forward. That's when I spotted her. Auden.

She seemed to be everywhere. I turned and walked away, but stopped. Really, where else would I go? So I turned back, remembering Adam whispering about how I seemed to be avoiding certain people who were new to Colby. Of course, no one else but I guessed who he was referring too, and I didn't let him know that I knew what he was saying.

I stood off to the side of her as she watched Maggie on the jumps. I felt pride in her assured moves, knowing that I hadn't let _her_ down when I taught her the basics. The rest she had gotten herself, a natural. I shifted and a twig snapped, causing Auden to turn and stare at me. I had hoped that she would stop soon, but she didn't.

So I turned my head towards her and stared at her. She nodded at me in greeting, I responded with a nod of my own. I slid my hands deep into my pockets, hoping that they wouldn't start shaking as they often did during times of awkwardness.

She looked away and a few moments passed. And just when I thought we would be okay to coexist here, without having to be completely awkward, she began to walk away, which meant she had to walk past me to get to the parking lot.

I had scared her away. And she had tried to be polite in not walking away straight off, but sure enough she was leaving. As she got closer I looked up.

I had to keep my voice calm, so I didn't reveal the hurt. I was surprised for a moment, usually the pain I had to hide was the shame, "Already leaving?" I grew confident, there was no way she could detect the sorrow. "Not exciting enough for you?" And as I said it I could picture her, somewhere far from here. She probably had much better things to do than watch people jump in Colby.

"No," She said, unconvincingly. She seemed unfailing polite in all of our meetings. "Just… I have somewhere I have to be."

See? She made up and excuse when she had no commitment to stay here. Polite.

"Busy times," I said, just because I didn't know what else to say. It's been awhile since I needed to have any social interactions.

"That's right," She agreed. But she didn't move. I didn't move, or say anything. I felt calm. I almost didn't want to believe it. "So," She said, breaking into my enjoyment of this foreign feeling, "do you jump?"

For a split second, I was confused. Jump? Huh? Then, seeing the flying bikes in front of me I realized what she meant. It's been so long since someone even talked to me about jumping, I was taken aback. But, I liked it. "Nope," I replied. Not necessarily lying. I hadn't jumped, really jumped, since the accident. But all of that will change tomorrow. Competition day. "You?" I asked, trying to be polite as she was.

"No. I don't even… I mean, I haven't ridden a bike in ages."

I had noticed her flub. She didn't know how to ride a bike. But she was too shy to admit it. I thought that was odd, nobody in Colby didn't know how to ride. But, then again, she didn't live in Colby. I was going to call her on it, but she was polite, she deserved the same back. "Really." It wasn't any sort of accusation, just a placeholder, but she seemed offended.

"I just, I wasn't much for outdoor stuff as a kid." She explained huffily.

Outdoor stuff? I couldn't imagine a childhood without it. I thought back to all the days and nights spent on the run, playing freeze tag or TV tag, and of course, riding bikes. What kind of childhood doesn't have that stuff? "Outdoor stuff," I repeated again, aloud this time.

"I mean," She began, defending herself again, "I went outside. I wasn't a recluse or anything. I just didn't ride bikes very much. And haven't recently."

I liked when she wasn't polite. I didn't even know what I was doing to get her so riled up.

"Right," I said, hoping that she'd continue to act human.

And I was rewarded. "What?" She asked, shrill and resisting, "Is that a crime here or something? Like only buying one thing at the Gas/Gro?"

Now she had thrown me for a loop. I know that Adam and Wallace condemned anyone who only got a single item, but it wasn't like he was harsh about it. I certainly couldn't resist buying more than one thing, but that didn't mean that it was a thing. "What?"

She blushed, "Nothing. Forget it." She turned away from me and pulled her keys from her pocket.

I should've let her go, but I was enjoying myself. The first time since the accident and where I wasn't on a bike, so I said the first thing that I thought would keep her here. "You know, if you don't know how to ride a bike, that's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I can ride a bike," She snapped, turning towards me. "I just, I haven't had the opportunity in a while."

Which was an absurd thing to say at a jump park, where there were plenty of places available to ride. I grunted in a way that sounded condescending, "Huh."

"What?" She practically yelled at me. I raised my eyebrows, hoping that I wouldn't have to point out the obvious. But she was crazed, her eyes wild.

"All I'm saying," I said, trying to break it to her gently, "is that we _are_ at a jump park."

"I'm not going to ride a bike just to prove to you that I can," She said, thinking of an excuse quickly. She was probably so embarrassed.

"I'm not asking you to. However, if you're looking for an opportunity… here's your chance. That's all." I didn't want to push her, but an opportunity is more than some of us have.

She took a couple of deep breaths, probably to stop herself from succumbing to her fears, "I think I'll pass, actually."

As if she had a choice. Maybe she wouldn't ride now, but eventually, your fears would find you.

"All righty," I said, because I knew how terrifying taking those opportunities could be. But, I was going to remedy that fear tomorrow, Competition Day.


	5. Death by Cupcake, Part One

**Chapter 5 – Death by Cupcake, Part One**

I couldn't stop thinking about the competition. It was almost as bad as the week leading up to the competition. But here I was, Monday afternoon in the shop and I couldn't think of anything else but the competition. I had done decently for it being my first competition in over a year. Seventh out of twelve. Not nearly as good as I used to be but that was why I practiced.

I think Adam noticed that I was distracted, because on that day he had taken over my normal managerial jobs. I was in too much of a haze to even notice right away. So when I finally came out of my fog in a small way and noticed that I hadn't done anything all day but stare off into space, I jumped up and went to check the normal day to day things that I usually did. All of them were done.

I had thought that maybe in my haze I had done the jobs subconsciously, but then I turned and saw Adam pulling out the new display bike that had been set to be put up today. I realized he was picking up my slack, without expecting me to say a word. Because I never did, say a word that is.

But I couldn't let him do it without a word of thanks, at least not after he kept his mouth shut about the comment I had made to the guy with the bikes in his truck, who I did see and who placed third overall.

So, while Jake and Wallace took a break, I confronted him.

"Adam," I said, hoping the rest of the words would come to me, breaking the damn of silence that had overtaken me since the accident. Nothing.

That's right, Adam and I were standing in the shop alone, the last costumer having left about two minutes earlier, I had watched as they left, me trying to think of something to say in this moment. Luckily I had decided to wing it. Stupid….

"Yes?" He asked, prompting, but never expecting. He wasn't the kind to push, at least not when it wasn't entirely necessary.

I opened my mouth and stared at the ceiling. I decided that evacuation procedures should've been something to think about as well. So I just muttered a quick 'thanks' and ducked into the back, where I could be alone. I avoided Adam the rest of the day. Just as I avoided everyone else.

I kept my head down the rest of the week, doing my work on time and efficiently. So I tried my best not to notice things. Like the warm weather that belonged to the beach, which wasn't that far away.

Like Adam's obsessive love for Maggie, which he chose not to acknowledge, probably for his own preservation. And then, there was Jake's increasing infantile behavior. I thought that, after our talk, he would act like an adult. Which he was, heading off to college in the fall. But he was still loose with the tourist women, which was never a good thing because they were sure to leave you behind the moment their stay is over, and drinking to cope. I wouldn't say he was getting to the alcoholic spectrum, but being intoxicated while dealing with these women didn't help him gain any sense.

Even with my immense experience with ignoring things in front of my face, I couldn't help but notice that my dreary mood had been reflected in the weather.

On this rainy day I could've been like anyone who hated rain, grumpy and unwilling to communicate with others. Especially the ghoul of a woman I had crossed while walking along the boardwalk that led to the shop. She was dressed in black, from her dress to her sweater, and had a very severe face. I avoided eye contact but I could feel her judging me, which wasn't much better than the look.

I retreated into the safety of the Bike Shop and heard the tinkling of the bells behind me that said she had entered Clementine's. Suddenly, I felt sorry for Maggie. But I retreated into my office and ignored contact with Adam and Wallace, who stared because I had come in so late. But, oddly, I wasn't in the mood for idle chit chat.

So I fortified myself in the office and Wallace and Adam didn't come back. Instead, today, they focused on the costumers. I did the things that I could've done in my sleep while listening to the gentle patter of rain on the roof. When it began to slacken, I opened the door a crack, a silent invitation that the bat-cave was able to be breeched by those not so brooding.

I glanced at the clock that was hanging on the wall, it looked like the clocks that would hang in every classroom in school, very institutional. It was past eight. That meant that the Dance would begin soon, and shortly after that nothing would get done. I stayed very still for a moment, thinking again of the competition. The next one would be great.

I've already gotten the feel of the bike back, at least in my mind. It'll be awhile yet until my body is fully in tune with the thing that it hadn't done for so long. But I was nearly positive that I would be able to achieve greatness by the end of the summer, with just enough time to retire before everyone else was off at school.

I thought again of the packet of papers that my mother had dropped off the last time she came to visit, when I'd just moved into the new place.

Class schedules. She suggested I sign up at the U. I wasn't sure if it was the right decision for me, I had the Bike Shop to worry about. Clyde would miss me. I think. Maybe I'd miss him. But I told her I'd think about it. She had smiled and patted me on the shoulder. She probably knew that, after she left, I opened one of the empty drawers in the kitchen and dropped all of the brochures in. Without a glance down at the glossy packets, I closed the drawer. But lately, that once empty drawer's been bothering me.

I shook my head and bent down to examine Adam's current project, ignoring his sign. I smiled happily, it looked just about perfect. And I was confident that he would make it perfect before it was picked up. I felt a warm glow of pride build up in my chest, until it blocked the unpleasant things that my life held. My shoulders straightened as did my back. And before I knew it, he was standing straight and tall, a change from my normally hunched position.

But I heard someone behind me, pushing open the door completely. Without glancing back, I hunched my shoulders and began organizing the papers on the desk, trying to look busy.

"We're going to knock off early," Adam said from behind me. "The shop's empty and I'm going to lock up. You alright here?" He asked.

I nodded my head and felt something unpleasant happening in my stomach. I glanced back at the clock, wondering where the time had gone. But it was a quarter till nine, where they leaving before the dance? I was going to ask – what had gotten into me? Since when have I been so chatty? – but I heard the door behind me close softly and knew that it was too late, Adam had left. I sat down in the chair, at my desk. It was dark now. But I closed my eyes and lost myself.

I did, however, hear when the music from next door turned up suddenly, telling me the dance had commenced. It seemed like longer than fifteen minutes had passed, so I closed my eyes again and imagine the dance now. I briefly wondered what it would be like to dance like that.

But I didn't dance. So I propped my feet on the desk and waited for it to be over. And it was, but I wasn't really aware of the ending because my eyes had closed and I began to… sleep. And I didn't dream.

Something was wrong with me, now I knew.

Especially because, as I stood, I felt the crick in my neck and the ache in my back. Maybe napping in that chair wasn't the brightest thing I've ever done.

I yawned and stretched my body, reaching my hands high until they seemed like they were going to brush the ceiling, but I wasn't tall enough for that. Then, I glanced at the clock again.

It was almost ten thirty. What a nap! I shook my head to clear it and searched for my keys. I spotted them buried under a bill that needed to be given to Clyde and I left, turning off the lights and pulling the door closed, so it was locked firmly.

I pocketed my keys and began walking down the boardwalk towards the closest coffee shop, Beach Beans, which was opened late to accommodate the need of the tourists. Usually I would just walk to the Gas/Gro, but I wasn't feeling up to it yet. Wanda had, by now, gotten used to my varying emotions despite the unchanging features of my face. She had just began being able to discern my emotions from a small twitch of my face. Okay, so maybe I didn't actually know how she did it, but it disturbed me.

I stayed away when I could.

So, instead of the normal soda to keep me energized, I relied on the coffee, which I wasn't completely fond of but would do in a pinch. Then, walking along the boardwalk with a cup of coffee in my hand I began to let my mind wander. I wasn't paying attention to what I thought or where I was going. Mindless wandering. I liked that.

"Eli?" A voice behind me calling, awakening me. I turned and saw her, in her jeans and with tank top, her brown hair streaked with blonde (a new development) and the bright red lipstick that she favored.

"Bell?" I asked, not quite willing to accept what was in front of me. But sure enough, she began walking towards me, her face breaking into a smile.

Suddenly, I was accosted by the thoughts of the night of the accident. I was in the hospital. Waiting for new on Abe while I stood without a scratch. I had called Jake first, and he was coming. Then I called Belissa, my Bell. She was there before Jake and Mom, she lived closer, and that was the first time. The first time I had seen the Look.

I thought it was the surprise. I didn't recognize it, I was ignorant. But then, she held me and I felt better than I had ever felt that night. She was wrapped in my arms when I heard. My mother had been standing with his mom when the news was first delivered. When she came over, her face betrayed her. She didn't even need to say it.

After that, things went downhill with Belissa. She tried to be supportive throughout the funeral and what happened afterward, but the look was enough to say that she was uncomfortable. But we didn't break up right away, we stuck it out. Until all that was left of our relationship was discontent.

The break up happened one night, with a fight. I'm not sure who decided to break up with who first, but Belissa said it first. It didn't take long for me to agree, but it ended. We haven't seen each other often since, except for a few awkward moments. We never _really_ ended it. We just walked away from each other. I suppose that's what made it so awkward whenever we met again.

"Eli, it's been a long time," Belissa said, stopping in front of me. Awkwardly, I nodded and looked away. Suddenly, she looked up and smiled, "You should come on over to my place, there's gonna be a party tonight. I know you don't always like parties, but I'd like to see you there."

She looked up at me and smiled. Suddenly, her purse began to sing some sappy pop song loudly. She grimaced and dug inside, and I heard things bumping around loudly inside her purse. She looked at the display and sighed, "Look, I've got to take this call. But, I'll see you there, right?" I nodded noncommittally.

She smiled and walked away, chattering loudly on her phone. I shrugged my shoulder and continued my walk. It was getting close to ten thirty, so I turned towards Belissa's house, because at least that would past the night, and it had been a long weekend.

Belissa's house was huge, and it was right on the beach. I entered the house, people pressing up against me in the most uncomfortable way. I smelt the beer and the sweat, mixed in with heavy scents from guys who used too much cologne. I passed the living room where there was more room but a lot more people. The music coming from the stereo was loud and annoying, something that I didn't usually listen to. I moved on because of the combination of people and bad music.

I kept moving, heading towards the kitchen. The keg was in there along with a tray of Belissa's parent's trademark cupcakes. I snorted in derision. I knew that they were only there for when her parent's had company and if anybody touched them they'd be killed by her parents.

I glanced towards the living room and noticed Belissa dancing with a group. I sighed and rolled my eyes. She was always a bit of an exhibitionist.

That's when I noticed a girl at the keg, trying to get it to pour the beer. She was twisting the spigot and flushed when it didn't work for a second time. I recognized her nearly straight off. She was about to try again before I decided, on a whim, to interfere. I reached over her and pressed down on the button, filling the cup that was in her hands.

"Let me guess, drinking from kegs also falls under outdoor activity," I said quietly into her ear. She turned towards me with annoyance clearly evident in her face.

"Are we outside?" Her face was pinched and looked like she was going to hit me. To delay her anger, I glanced around really slowly, bad acting.

"Nope!" I announced, not happy to other ears, but to mine I could detect more happiness than I've felt in ages. There was something about bating her, making her angry, that was oddly exhilarating. It seemed to be the only time when she wasn't perfectly mannered.

"Then no," She said, her voice prim. She tried to ignore me, so I removed my hand from the tap. But I wasn't satisfied yet.

She filled another cup as I said, "You know," I began, leaning against the counter, "I've noticed you're kind of defensive."

Without missing a beat, "And I have noticed that you are very judgmental." She sniffed disdainfully and filled another cup.

"Oh, so you're still upset about the bike thing." Of course. How dare I doubt her abilities? She turned ten, abandoning the cups.

"I know how to ride a bike!" She yelled at me, mortally offended.

"But not how to work a keg," I quipped. She was angry, I could tell. But she tried to appear calm, cool, and collected.

"And you care about this because?" She said, trailing off with the raise of an eyebrow. Suddenly, I was reminded of out meeting in the clearing, where she mocked me back.

"It's kind of required here," I began. I could see her face stiffen in anger, "Like buying more than one thing at the Gas/Gro."

She ignored me and picked up the two cups, one I had filled and the other she had filled. She handed them off to somebody, I didn't look back to see who but I could only assume it was Maggie. Auden came back to the keg and began to fill the cup and then, she took a sip from it, all the time ignoring me. So I turned my attention to the pastries.

I wondered why they would set these cupcakes if they knew Bell would throw a party, something she always did during the summer when they went away for the weekend. Auden turned towards me and in a reconciliatory manner explained the presence of the cupcakes, as if she had been the one to live in this town all of her life.

I nodded as she tald me that her parents own a bakery. I couldn't help it, the sarcasm that I had cultivated ever since Abe died spewed out, though I usually try to hide it, "Really?" I asked. She nodded and went on, apparently missing my sarcasm in the monotone goloss that I had developed.

"She's the girl in the white shirt, over there." She pointed out Belissa and I watched her dance. "With the red lipstick," She explained. Now that she specifically mentioned the lipstick as a distinguishing feature I realized that it wasn't as popular a trend as it had once seemed to be.

I supposed I shouldn't embarrass her by telling her I knew these things, "Oh, right. I see her." And together, we watched her.

"Wow, that's really something." She said. I don't know why, but I didn't exactly like her tone. I felt some sort of left over protectiveness well up inside me.

"Meaning what?" Maybe she didn't notice my sharp tone, I wouldn't if I had been listening to me as an outside observer.

Regardless of whether or not she noticed my tone, she shrugged, not caring to defend her statement. That's when Belissa looked over at us. She caught Auden's eyes. I didn't keep my eyes on her long enough to see her reaction but I supposed she went on dancing with her meaty men.

"Just… Sometimes less is more, you know?" She finally finished. Taking another sip of the beer in her hand.

I smiled, wondering what Belissa would say if she heard this. She'd probably freak out. The thought of it was amusing to me.

"Which is not to say," She said loudly, turning. Her sudden attitude change startled me, "you shouldn't have one of her cupcakes. They look great."

I glanced down at them and pictured Belissa's father's face if he were to know that I had eaten one of his cupcakes, the evil boy who ruined his sweet little girl. But trust me, it wasn't my influence which transformed his sweet little girl into the 'woman' that she is today.

So for my sake, I passed.

"You know," She said, with an edge in her voice, "If you don't know how to eat a cupcake, that's nothing to be ashamed of."

I smiled wider, "I know how to eat a cupcake." I could feel her smugness from about a mile away. Even if I wasn't exactly a mile away.

"Sure you do," She said, as if still trying to convince me that she could ride a bike.

"I do, I just don't want one of those," I explained. Mainly, because I wanted to remain in one piece.

"Yeah?" She asked, her eyebrows rising a fraction of an inch. Then, she reached into her bag and pulled out a package of cupcakes that came obviously from the Gas/Gro (I had bought the same package about a week ago). "Prove it."

"You really want me to?" I asked, a smirk barely surpressed.

"It's kind of required here," She said airily, "Like riding a bike."

I didn't react right away, just staring at her face trying to gauge her reaction. Finally, I opened her cupcake package and pulled one out. She was watching me like a hawk. I took a bite into a cupcake when Maggie and Esther came up from behind and pulled Auden away whispering something that I couldn't hear. I watched them leave and finished the cupcake.

Then I glanced back and saw Belissa leaving in an angry flash and I sighed. I suppose I could tell what this was about. But, I didn't interfere. If she thought I was sticking up for Auden, well then we would really have a problem. She was gone for quite some time, but when she returned she looked happy in a twisted sort of way. Her eyes were roaming the house, looking for me. So, with self preservation in mind, I fled the premises.


	6. Death by Cupcake, Part Two

**Chapter 6 – Death by Cupcake, Part Two**

Now that I had escaped Belissa's without a major confrontation, I had no idea what I was going to do. It was only midnight, so I would be awake for at least seven hours. Then, I'd awaken at noon and go off to the Bike Shop. I assumed that a stop at Clyde's would be necessary but I wasn't sure if I was in the mood for his sage advice.

So, I went to the only place I really felt at home lately, the Bike Shop.

I walked there in the dark, hands deep in my pocket as I observed the other creatures of night. But these were only poseurs. They were out only for this moment and as soon as they leave, they'll abandon the night like a pair of worn shoes.

I passed a black haired girl, obviously back from a bar crawl with her friends, although the blonde seemed to be in better shape than the rest. But a few seconds after I passed them, the black haired woman turned, "Hey baby, what're you doing tonight?" She slurred, sounding like some of the drunken men I've heard at some of the shady parties that Belissa insisted we go to.

I turned, just to make sure that they were talking to me. Apparently, they were. "What a fine ass." The woman whispered to her friends. I flushed and turned, ducking my head and virtually running because my steps were so wide and quick.

"I swear, I won't bite!" She called loudly, to the amusement of her friends as they cackled and turned, continuing on their journey. I sighed and ducked my head, looking down at the ground. But I still couldn't believe that some people would do something like that.

I finally got to the shop and ducked inside, not stopping to turn on any lights. I sighed when I got into the back and turned on the light. I felt a little bit of myself relax as the solitude embraced me. The silence was always welcome and forgiving. It wouldn't judge me while I was walking down the road without wanting any attention.

I was reorganizing the papers on my desk when I heard a knock on my door. I paused momentarily, stunned that someone knew I was here, but I glanced up to see who it was. I could see the outline of a girl with dark hair and decided to look closer to see who it was. As I walked closer I recognized Auden, I was… shocked to see her. After her quick exit at the party, I wasn't expecting to see her.

I unlocked the door and pushed it open, noticing that there was something odd about her now, something I hadn't seen before on her face. I didn't mention it, so I made a joke instead. "Let me guess," I began, "You want to learn to ride a bike, and it can't wait until morning."

"No," She said, and I realized what was different about her. It was her face. I dropped my hand from the door and studied her face, hoping that I was wrong. But I wasn't, it was clearly there. "I was in the neighborhood," She continued, "saw the light. Long night and all that," She said, raising her coffee as if that explained something.

Once again I studied her face, hoping that I was wrong, but I wasn't. But I wasn't sure if I was projecting it onto her face, having looked for it. I decided that I could be wrong, and let her in, "Right, well, come on in."

She stepped into the room, I shut the door after her and locked it. Then, I led the way through the shop and into the back. I scanned the room and noticed the gears and tools everywhere around the room, I winced slightly but didn't really think much of it. This shop was filled with guys who didn't clean, what more could she expect?

"Have a seat," I said, gesturing to Adam's station.

"Seems dangerous," She replied, looking at the sign that Adam had posted on his station. I rolled my eyes at Adam's silly antics.

"It's not," I replied easily. Adam could be such a drama queen, especially when it comes to people touching his things. I recalled the day he had made it; Wallace had borrowed one of his tools and didn't put it back in quite the same place. Adam was not only the Drama Queen, but was a bit of a control freak.

She still eyed the sign, but sat anyway. I quickly sat behind my desk, anxious to get something between us, and began to fiddle around with the things on the desk. I picked up an envelope and glanced at it, nothing special. I pushed it aside and glanced about the desk again. I felt that I should probably say something, break the ice, and possibly find out once and for all if what I was seeing was real. "So, you say you're not here for a bike."

"No," She replied, shaking her head slightly.

"Then what? You're just out walking the boardwalk in the middle of the night?" My voice sounded harsher than it needed to be, bitter. But I was used to being alone; I preferred it to this… this look. And now I could not deny it. There it was, clearly evident.

"I don't know," She floundered, "I just… I thought you might want to talk, or something." She looked down at her cup of coffee.

Slowly, I shut the drawer where I had thrown some papers, and looked up at her. There. Proof.

"Talk," I said flatly, frustrated that I had let her so close only to have her turn into everyone else. She seemed to squirm in her seat and I recalled Belissa once telling me that when I stared like this, it was very intimidating. Of course, she didn't word it quite like that.

"Yeah," she replied, voice dropping an octave, "You're up, I'm up. I just figured…"

"Oh, I get it. Right, you know _now_." I was pissed. I couldn't believe this was what I turned into. I had always thought that I would be able to handle it, when something like this happened. But I wanted to scream, to hit the wall, slam my head against my desk. But I stayed calm, relying on the experience of all the time I've suppressed my feelings since the accident.

"Know…?" She asked, feigning ignorance.

I shook my head at her attempt, did she think I hadn't dealt with this before? Although, I should've realized the first time I've talked to her that this would happen, but I stayed ignorant in an attempt to regain the life that I had felt stirring inside. Ironically, the life that began to stir once I had picked up the bike again and decided to give it another go. But, he was talking again, when he should've just walked away, asking her to leave, "I should have know when I saw you at the door," I began, spilling the beans in a fit of confusion, rage, and (astonishingly) hope.

"Not to mention at that part. Maggie isn't exactly known for holding back information." I could hear the bitterness in my voice and wondered if she heard it too.

She sat there for about a moment, but stood angrily after her senses returned, "Look, I'm sorry. I just thought…"

Sorry. That was the thing that had us where we were. "I know what you thought," I cut in bitterly, to busy myself I picked up a stack of papers and began looking through them, not seeing the words on them, only the rage and hurt. "And I _appreciate_," The word came out twisted and harsh, "you wanting to help me, or whatever. But I don't need it. Okay?" I slammed the pile of papers on the table and turned my face away. I saw her nod slowly.

She stood, the stool teetering as she slid off, "I should go, it's late."

Suddenly, I was seized with desire to tell her everything, to make her understand. I looked over at her and wondered if she could handle it, if I could. But all thoughts were thrown out the window. "Do you want to know why I talk to you?"

"Yeah," She replied hastily, "I do!"

I was crazed and continued speaking, when I knew I shouldn't. Just walk away, I though quickly, you have a pile of laundry in the truck and could just spend the night with Clyde. But I was talking before I listened to myself, "Because, from that first day on the boardwalk, you were different. You never tiptoed around me," I recounted cynically, "or acted all weird and sorry for me, or gave me that look," I said, thinking she would understand.

But, maybe not, "What look?"

I was going to explain in a long drawn out explanation, but it was there, "That one," I said, pointing at hers. And quickly, I understood that she was lying, she knew and she blushed. "You were just… normal. Until tonight."

I looked away, pulling the drawer open again and began to poke around inside. I expected her to just walk away, never looking me in the eye again, just like everyone else. But she didn't walk away.

"You know," She said instead, causing me to slow in my search for an elusive paper clip, "I'm actually really relieved to hear you say that. Because I don't want to feel sorry for you," She said, trying to sound tough and different. But I had heard this so many times before. But it won't change anything. She'll try to hide the look, but it will be there, in her eyes.

"You don't," I challenged, not really interested in her attempt at convincing me otherwise.

"Nope. The truth is, I'm actually kind of angry with you," She countered. Now I was confused, most people just insisted that they didn't feel sorry for you, none were angry.

"Angry?" I asked, raising my eyes to meet hers in time to see her nod resolutely. "And why is that?"

"Because you almost got my ass kicked tonight!"

"I did?" I asked, confused. But she rolled her eyes.

"Like you don't know that was your girlfriend I was talking about," She said, confusing me even more, "Not to mention looking at while I was talking about."

Belissa? What did she have to do with that, and why did she think she was my girlfriend? "Hold on! She's—" I began, but Auden cut me off again.

"You just let me stand there and shoot off my mouth," She continued, talking over me, "and then, when she came after me…"

Now I was really confused, "She came after you?" Belissa wouldn't do that, she was really sweet.

"She poked me in the chest and called me a skank," She replied easily. Belissa poked her? "And meanwhile, you're off eating cupcakes somewhere."

"Excuse me," I interrupted, closing the drawer in frustration, "but you were the one who told me to eat the cupcakes!" I argued. Maybe not the best argument in the world, but I was so confused.

"When I didn't know my life was in danger!" She argued. But, then she sighed, "All I'm saying is that you kind of left me out there to fend for myself. Which is not very cool."

I didn't know what to defend first. My brain seemed too slow to function, so the first thing on my mind blurted out of my mouth, "Look, Belissa is not my girlfriend."

"You might want to tell her that," She replied easily, "If you can, you know, make time during all that cupcake eating." I wanted to laugh at her retort. She was so witty, but I couldn't laugh at her while we were arguing, she might take it that wrong way. Plus, I'm not sure if I could laugh anymore. It's been so long. So I let my face do what had lately become natural, blankness.

She began to blush at the bottom of her neck and the top of her ears. I felt like I should stop it, who knows what she'd say if pushed. "What are you really doing out so late?" I asked, still curious.

"I don't sleep at night," She replied so easily that I was impressed. I couldn't manage to tell anyone that either, I haven't really even talked to Clyde about it. He just accepted that I was there.

"Why not?" I asked, my breathing becoming constricted because of the possibility of having the question turned on me. Maybe she could suspect why I was there, but I didn't want to say it.

"It used to be because my parents were up fighting, But now… I don't know," She replied so genuinely that I felt for her. She seemed to know something that I didn't. And I wanted to know if she could teach me. I nodded, I couldn't really do much else.

"So, what do you do to pass the time? Other than not riding bikes?" I asked, at a loss of what was required in normal interaction. I hoped it wasn't the sharing of personal stories, I wasn't ready quite yet.

"Read. Drive. At home, I have a twenty-four-hour diner I really like, but here there's only the Wheelhouse, which is less than ideal," She said with a shrug.

I winced, the Wheelhouse? Suddenly, I think I knew what would come next in this exchange. "You've been going to the Wheelhouse? The coffee there is terrible," And I could say that even though I was not a huge coffee drinker. Although, Clyde's was enjoyable.

"I know. Plus, the waitresses are mean."

"And it's not like you're taking up a table someone else wants," I sighed, this next part was going to be the hardest for me, but I persevered, "You should be going where I go. Open twenty-four/seven, great coffee, _and_ pie." Now, I just hoped she would pick up on my subtle invitation.

"Really, that's the trifecta." She replied, not making it easy for me.

"I know." I tried to bring myself to extend an invitation, but I wasn't ready yet.

"Wait, though, I have Googled every single restaurant for fifty miles, and nothing came up but the Wheelhouse." I nodded in sympathy.

"That is because my place is a local secret." I smiled secretly, although maybe she didn't notice because my smile was only a bit of a twitch.

"Oh, right. Of course, the local thing again," She sneered cynically.

"Yep," I replied, suddenly enforced with thoughts of happiness. I reached down and grabbed the bag of laundry that I had meant to add to the load in my truck, "But don't worry, I think I can get you in."

**----------------------**

**Okay, I must apologize for how long this chapter took. Things have gotten kind of crazy lately. I've been a part of this theater camp and we're putting on Charlotte's Web, first performance is actually today (Saturday, August 8). Then, tomorrow (Sunday, August 9) is the last day. I'm sad it's over but excited to be on stage again. And then, after that's over, I've got band camp for two weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to update soon due to the evenings I'll have free, but who knows. Then, updating will slow again because school will start soon and I've got loads of other commitments already. But I'll get through it, no worries. So I hope you'll stick with this story and moi! **

**I'd like to thank everyone who've reviewed thus far, it really makes my day and encourages me to write more often. **

**Enjoy!**


	7. Spin Cycle

**Chapter 7 – Spin Cycle**

I led the way through the Bike Shop nervously, happy to have my bag of laundry in my hands to keep them from jangling nervously at my side as I walked. I could hear Auden's small steps behind me, echoing the path that I was leading towards the truck. They reminded me of all the times Belissa and I walked together, but not due to the similarity. It was a different sort of walk than what Auden had.

Bell was the kind of girl who charged ahead, took control. After Abe, that's what I needed. But not for long. Whenever I only wanted to shut down and sleep, she was there. But Auden's steps were like mine, silent and waiting. For what, I couldn't know.

We got to the truck and I tossed the bag in the back. Auden walked around to the passenger side and hesitated at the door. I opened my side and got in, hoping she was just waiting for me. She was. When I had closed my door, she cautiously opened the door and hopped up inside. I drove to the Laundromat in silence.

I couldn't imagine her reaction.

I pulled up outside and shut off the truck. The sudden silence increased the beat of my heart, but my face remained still. I could see Auden eyeing the building, confused. Couldn't really blame her.

Getting out of the truck, I took a deep breath before the usual blank face took over. I grabbed the canvas laundry bag that my mother had given me years ago, though you could only guess it's age after looking closely at various faded mystery stains.

We entered and I stepped to the side so Auden could take in the whole place quickly.

"This is _not_ a restaurant," she deadpanned, glancing around.

"I didn't say it was a restaurant," I replied, clearly remembering the little conversation we've had to get to this point. I was doing my best to act normal, as if it were everyday that I brought people with me to my haven. So, I walked to a machine and put my bag on the top. The material seemed rougher than normal as I undid the top.

"You didn't say it was a Laundromat," She argued.

"True," I conceded as I took the Tide out of the bag. Then, I dumped the bag into the machine and watched my clothes tumble into the hollow and even out. I quickly finished feeding the machine and started it's cycle so I could reveal the real surprise.

"Follow me," I said quickly and I began to walk towards the back. I noticed Auden hesitate and imagined what she must be thinking. _Teenager found dead, buried behind the Laundromat. _

But, I didn't stop. When you were a follower, you wanted a leader who was willing to continue ahead without you, fearless. And follow me she did.

I reached the door and, as was custom, knocked twice before pulling it open. Clyde always insisted I just enter, without knocking. He said it was unnecessary. But, I had my habits. Stepping back, I motioned for Auden to enter first; I wanted to see her reaction. Again, she hesitated.

The first time, I didn't blame her. But now, I felt something in my chest that I wasn't used to, I couldn't even name it. My face remained still after years of avoiding my feelings.

I tried to imagine what she must be thinking so I looked over the room with a fresh pair of eyes. The room was dark and small and would've given off a shady feel if not for the open back door which allowed the warm air to waft through, giving the place a more pleasant atmosphere. And, finally, by the back door, was Clyde behind a small counter, reading a magazine. He looked up and noticed Auden first.

He didn't say anything because he looked at me next and smiled, "Yo, I thought you might turn up tonight." As if I didn't nearly every night. But, I could also see something behind his smile. And then I knew, he recognized Auden as the one from my stories.

"I was running out of shirts," I replied, hoping he wouldn't say anything.

But, I shouldn't have worried. Clyde wasn't the sort to run his mouth. Sometimes, I thought that was why we got along so well, neither of us felt the need to fill the silence. "Well, then, what can I get for you?" He asked after standing and rubbing his hands together happily. He must have something new today, he was always happy to share a new recipe.

"That depends," I said, not wanting to miss the newest addition because Clyde sometimes liked to pull out a special pie last, after I've already had my fell of an earlier one, just to see if he could tempt me. I pulled out a stool and stepped back, gesturing for Auden to take it. I remember every single lesson my mother's ever given me on manners. "What's on the menu?"

"Well," He said, drawing out his big moment so I knew it would be good, "Let's see… there's some rhubarb, apple… And some razzleberry." And there it was, the big unveiling successful.

"Razzleberry?"

Clyde nodded; he was loving this, "Raspberry and blueberry. Sort of tart, sort of mellow. It's a little intense. But worth trying." A simple prognosis, but intriguing.

"Sounds good." Then, I glanced at Auden. She hadn't said a word since we entered the room. She seemed a little shell shocked, taken aback. As was I in this moment, I was not normally the talkative one of a group. I wanted to make her feel more at home and she hadn't yet spoken up about her choice of pie. "What do you want?" Sometimes, a little nudge was all someone needed.

"Coffee?" Her voice was quiet and small, she was nervous.

Clyde seemed taken aback, "Just coffee?" How could anyone possibly deny a slice of pie?

"She's not from here," I was quick to defend. I didn't want Clyde to get the wrong impression. "Trust me," I said, looking her in the eyes, "You want pie." Our eyes locked and I felt a real connection with her at that point; as if the trust I was asking for wasn't just for the sake of pie alone, but something more, something different. Little did she know that this was the most I've trusted anyone I've just met since the accident.

"Oh," she said in the same small voice. She seemed overcome by the unknown. "Um, apple, then."

"Good choice," I said as Clyde turned and grabbed the coffee mugs, filling them with coffee. He pulled out the plates and arranged our pies. He had once grumbled about serving the pie before, but he's grown to love it, the presentation, he said, was just as important as the food itself.

Auden went for the coffee first, an action I can understand. After a healthy sip, she went for the pie. The look on her face after her first bite was enough for me.

"I told you," I said, a little bit smugly, "Beats the Wheelhouse by a mile."

"The Wheelhouse? Who's eating there?" I nodded towards Auden, "Oh, man. I hate to hear that." And just like that, Auden was in.

"Clyde," I explained to her, "is a man who takes pie very seriously."

"Well," Clyde said, blushing but pleased, "I mean, I endeavor to. But I'm only a beginner at this whole baking thing. I got a late start."

I felt perhaps that revealing a little bit of Clyde's background would be best, so Auden could feel more comfortable here, especially if this were to become more of a habit, which I hoped it would, "Clyde owns the bike shop and this Laundromat. And about four other businesses here in Colby. HE's a mogul."

Auden raised her eyebrows, obviously impressed with Clyde's enterprises.

"I prefer the term renaissance man. And just because I'm good at business does not mean I can do a perfect piecrust. Or so I'm learning."

Auden didn't say anything to this though; she just took another bite of her pie. I wasn't used to her being so silent.

"You have to admit," I said, watching Auden as she ate her pie, "This is better than driving or reading."

"Much," She agreed, as she continued eating.

"She doesn't sleep either," I told Clyde, who nodded. He understood, he hasn't been sleeping either, at least not since Alice left. To Auden, "Clyde bought this place just so he'd have something to do at night."

"Yep," Clyde said, nodding, "The coffee shop part, though, that was Eli's idea."

"Nah," I shook my head, it was all Clyde.

"It was," he insisted. "Used to be, we'd just hang out during the spin cycle, share a thermos and whatever pastry I was working on. Then, he convinced me maybe we weren't the only ones looking for a place to go other than a bar late at night." That was all true, actually, but I didn't like the way Auden's eyes gleamed as she slowly chewed her pie.

"Spin Cycle," I said in order to steer the conversation elsewhere, "that's not a bad one, actually."

"Huh," he said, considering it, "You're right. Write it down."

So, I pulled out my wallet and took the piece of yellow folded paper, originating from an argument between Wallace and Adam when they couldn't remember the names they had been considering, Abe's idea was to start the list. I was designated the keeper of the list, I don't know why. Clyde handed me a pen from behind his desk and I wrote _Spin Cycle_ at the bottom.

"We need a new name for the Bike Shop," Clyde explained as I folded the list back up, "We've been trying to come up with one for ages."

"What's it called now?" Auden asked, putting her fork down.

"Te Bike Shop," I replied with a dead pan, remembering hearing all the conversations Adam and Wallace have had on the 'banality of the name.' Auden didn't seem to approve either, she raised her eyebrows. "Nice, right?"

"Actually," Clyde interjected as he always did when this conversation was had, "It's called Clyde's Rides. But, the sign got blown off during Hurricane Beatrice last year, and when I went to replace it, I thought maybe it was time to give it a new name…"

"Which we've been trying to do ever since," I finished, recalling the list and the debates we would have from time to time, "Clyde can't make up his mind." Which was the truth. There were many occasions when I thought we finally had made a decision, but the next day Clyde had gotten cold feet and we were back to square one.

"I'll know it when I hear it," He said in defense of his inability to make up his mind, "Until then, it's fine if everyone calls it the Bike Shop. Because that's what it is. Right?"

The phone behind Clyde rang and he picked it up. I could hear a voice on the other end, I think I recognized it as Alice. In any event, he took the phone outside and continued his conversation. Not wanting to interfere, I turned to Auden, "What did I tell you? Pretty good, huh?"

She smiled, "It is. And you're right; I never would have found this place in a million years." Her smile made it easier to have her here.

"Nope."

Auden picked her fork up and continued eating, so I finished off mine as well. The only sound for a time was the thumping of the machines in the other room. I saw Auden glance at her watch and wondered if she was bored. Or tired. But she surprised me.

"So, what else you got?"


End file.
